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Are you independent or interdependent? Take our quiz!

June 30, 2010

Filed under: interdependence — Tags: , — Lorin Beller Blake @ 5:06 pm

First let me start out by saying: “Happy Independence Day!” Every year this time of year, I love to watch the fireworks from afar. They remind me of how life is full of surprise, beauty and celebration.

However as a mother of a 4 ½ year old, I see her working to ‘do life’ more independently than ever. And school obviously encourages independence which is great! However, what I know as a 44 year old woman is that in order to truly do big things in the world, I must get better at asking for help. And we cannot do big things in this world alone. I realize that we over teach’ this concept called ‘independence’ we teach children that they can and should do it all alone.

Big goals in life can only be done when we do it in teams and ask for help along the way. We cannot raise children well alone. We cannot build businesses that have big impact alone. We cannot take care of ourselves well alone. We cannot accomplish our goals alone. The concept of doing things alone or independently is pushed way too much in our society, in my opinion.

I can honestly say that since working with business owners for almost a decade, much of what we need to relearn is how and when to ask for help in order to do big things.

As a Mom, I consider my nanny a part of my team… I cannot do great work without someone to help care for my daughter with me. My work team, consists of writers, detail professionals, technical people, graphics people, coaches, and I cannot do great work without them!

So, I am curious, look at your 2010 goals and ask yourself in each area, what do you need help with? Be creative, who can help you? Our first reaction is: I do not have anyone that can help. But the truth is if you just start talking about your goals, sharing them with others, you will find places and areas that you can receive help. We limit ourselves by thinking that we have to pay money every time in order to get help. But that is not always the case. Be creative! There are so many ways to get help here are just a few:

1. Trade services: just today I spoke with a PR Professional who is specializing in coaches, authors and speakers… (that is me) and she is looking to grow her business so, we are creating a nice 1 year trade relationship.

2. I have a good friend who very seldom pays for child care. She has developed a network of Mom friends that swap taking care of each other’s children all the time. (I had never thought of this simple concept! I pay for childcare all the time!)

3. So many people, want to help but they are not sure how and need to be asked in order to truly help. It is rare to find people that know how to help best. So it is up to us to ask, the worst that happens is that they say, no and that is fine! We really want people to help us that want to be helping.

4. Paying for services but finding creative ways to pay for service especially if you cannot afford someone’s full price. There are so many ways to provide value to someone. Be creative! Think about what you have to offer and what services are needed there are many ways to ‘pay’ someone for their help.

So let’s check it out…. Score yourself a point for every one of the items below that you can say YES too… are you growing to be more interdependent or are you working too hard and being too independent?

1. When I get frustrated I immediately ask for help or I stew about it and either let the project go or procrastinate doing it. (1 point if this is true)
2. I notice that I set big goals and ask how will I accomplish them rather than avoiding big goals. (1 point if this is true)
3. I enjoy working with someone when I am trying to accomplish something rather than working alone. (1 point if this is true)
4. I don’t mind asking for help from others. (1 point if this is true)
5. I do not see asking for help as a sign of weakness, rather I see it as empowering. (1 point if this is true)

If you scored a 5, CONGRATULATIONS! You are interdependent and will continue to accomplish big things in life. If you scored less than a 5, sign up to be a Big Fish today!  Let’s get you doing the big things that you know you can accomplish!
True success takes being interdependent! Happy Interdependence Day!

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Best Practices for Building & Leading Tribes

June 22, 2010

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Seth Godin, TribesIn a recent blog post, I shared some important ideas about tribes based on Seth Godin’s must-read book, “Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us.” 

This week, I will add some practical tactics so you can get started right away with building and leading your own tribes.  I will use one of my tribes, Big Fish Nation, as an example. 

Last week, I had a wonderful teleconference with one of the Big Fish “sub-tribes,” the Mastery group, as we discussed our favorite parts of Godin’s book (hard to narrow down!), then shared our own tribe-building best practices.  This is what I love about spending time with my tribe members…  I always learn and get motivated just by being in the same space with them (virtually or face-to-face)! 

It is important that we share information and inspiration across tribes, so here are some of my (our!) tribe’s  learnings from last week’s teleconference:      

BEST PRACTICES* for Leading & Building Tribes:

  • Create and Communicate a Clear Vision:  If you don’t know where you’re going, your tribe won’t either.  Create your vision of, as Godin says, “something that could happen but hasn’t (yet),” and communicate it regularly to your tribe.  Then have faith in the vision.   Believe it. Plan for it. Lead to it!
  • Set the Beat:  Lead by example…  be organized, meet your deadlines, speak and act with integrity, be accountable, turn work around quickly and professionally, show your enjoyment, etc. Show your tribe how to reach the vision! 
  • Lean In:  Commit to the vision and “lean into it” with passion, confidence and fearlessness.  We don’t always need to plunge forward (although sometimes that’s how we get started!), and a steady forward-leaning attitude keeps us moving ahead and thinking ahead. 
  • Lean Back:  Each tribe also needs followers.  Sometimes the most effective thing a tribe leader can do is to lean back and allow someone else to lead.  Each tribe member has different strengths and all are needed to make the vision a reality.  Just remember to follow eagerly and continue “leaning in”!
  • Just Do It:  Godin says, “The largest enemy of change and leadership isn’t a ‘no.’  It’s a ‘not yet.’”  If you sense that NOW could be the time for you and/or your tribe to act, then JUST DO IT.   Don’t miss your opportunity. 

These are just a few of the ways we can build and lead our own tribes.  

What are some of your Best Practices?

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*A special thank you to Big Fish tribe members Gail Benmosche, Peg Calvario, Amy Cotter, Amy Hart, Starla King, Sonya Mittleman, Andrea Russo,  and PJ Sparks for these Best Practices!

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Making Intention-Setting A Daily Habit

June 15, 2010

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It’s mid-year 2010. 

Do you know where your intention is??

Intention is the tone we set and keep as we carry out everything we do (business, personal, or something inbetween), or simply what we want (or intend) to accomplish or complete.

Although it’s not difficult to set an intention, it is sometimes challenging to remember on our own to set an intention every day

So in March of this year, we launched the Big Fish Twitter Party a virtual shared “intention journal” for us to each post our DAILY intention.

It’s time to re-energize that party, so this blog post is your invitation (or re-invitation) to join this intention-setting movement.   Note:  Everyone is welcome, this is not exclusive to Big Fish Nation members!

Here is how it works:  You just tweet your intention for the day, and at the end of your intention, be sure to add the hashtag  #BigFishIntention.  (See recent blog post  for more details).

Why do this??

  1. FOCUS:  Setting our intentions DAILY requires us to clarify our priorities and our focus each day, and writing them down makes them even more powerful.  Twitter is the perfect tool for this, keeping our intentions short and to-the-point. 
  2. ACCOUNTABILITY:  Sharing our intentions adds accountability to each day.  A quick Twitter search on “#BigFishIntention” shows each person’s tweeted intention for the day, so others can see and support your intention.  Accountability is a strong business tool, so let’s add it to our intentions!
  3. CONNECTION:  The more we tap into our network of resources (see recent blog post), the richer our businesses can grow – literally and figuratively!  When others tweet their intentions, we get insight into what is valuable to them and their business.  This is important information for making powerful connections, and we find new people to follow on Twitter. 
  4. INSPIRATION:  We all need inspiration to keep moving forward.  Sharing our daily intentions gives each of us new ideas for motivation and inspiration, and even new approaches for handling practical issues.
  5. EXPERIENCE:  Each of us who tweets an intention with the #BigFishNation hashtag is a member of the (unofficial) Daily Intention Tribe.  As I said in last week’s blog post, tribal membership and leadership need to become part of everyone’s business toolkit, and this is a perfect “practice tribe” for youDo you want to lead? Lead by example then encourage others to also post their intentions. 

If you’re not using Twitter, you can still participate in any of the following ways:

  1. Join Twitter:  It’s free — just sign up at http://www.twitter.com), and you can immediately tweet today’s intention.
  2. Start your own Intention Tribe on Facebook:  Post a status update telling people your intention for the day and asking “What is yours?”  You can do this *any* day!
  3. Start your own Intention Tribe via email:  Ask people in your valued network to email their intention to each other daily.  Most of us have overflowing email IN boxes, however, so I recommend keeping this email tribe to just a few members.  Even just one other person can make a big difference in accountability!
  4. Create your own solution:  What other ways can you think of to effectively and efficiently share daily intentions?  Let us know in a comment here!

I have a challenge for each of us today:  to set today’s intention to begin or renew the practice of setting and sharing our daily intention.  I hope to see you online!

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Are You Leading or Following?

June 8, 2010

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Without leaders there are no followers.
You’re a leader
We need you.
- Seth Godin

Seth Godin, TribesThis month in the Big Fish Mastery program, we are reading Seth Godin’s book, “Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us.”  – another “must read” for all women business owners as we continue to find new ways to connect powerfully with each other!

The concept of creating a tribe or belonging to a tribe might seem like a foreign idea, but it’s actually a simple – and absolutely important — way for us to think about and do business. 

Godin’s definition of “tribe” is “…a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea.”   

For example,  Big Fish Nation is a tribe:  we are all women business owners, connected to the idea that women business owners can have it all …  that we can be wildly successful in our businesses without giving up the rest of our lives.   

All Big Fish tribe members also have access to online conferencing tools, conference calls, Facebook groups, etc.  to stay connected with me, each other, and the Big Fish concepts. 

As the Big Fish tribe grows, so does the energy around the original Big Fish idea, and attracts other potential tribe members… which ultimately positively affects the bottom line! 

Think about your own business… have you created a group of people connected to you, each other,  and the primary idea of your business?   Do the people in your organization care deeply about you and your work?  Do they have a shared vision that they have faith in?  

If so, congratulations — you are leading a tribe!

If not, you can start building your tribe today. 

How?  Godin says it “takes only two things to turn a group of people into a tribe:  a shared interest and a way to communicate.”  

The shared interest can come directly from the goals and vision of your business, and you can use the social media tools available now (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, blogs, etc.), to provide a variety of ways for your tribe members to communicate – globally! — around that shared interest.

We can make an even bigger impact in the world when we intentionally connect our individual tribes into larger tribes.  For example, I’m a member of NAWBO (National Association of Women Business Owners), and am attending the NAWBO conference this week to interact with those tribe members.  

Some other tribes to visit (and become members of) are:  

I am convinced that tribal membership and leadership need to become part of EVERY business leadership toolkit. 

Are they in yours? 

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Tapping into our Richest Resources

June 1, 2010

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[blog post by Starla J. King, Big Fish 2009-10]

I was intrigued to see the flood of responses to Lorin’s blog post last week and responses to the referenced WSJ article (by Sharon Hadary) about the topic of women business owners taking their businesses to the next level(s). (Click here to read full blog post).

Apparently we women entrepreneurs are hungry.

Hungry to feed the success of our businesses… …hungry to create flourishing businesses that we can be proud of AND be recognized for… and hungry for the tools to do all of this without overwhelming our lives.

I’m certainly one of those hungry women. I’m ready to sidle up to a buffet of resources and connections and best practices that every one of us women entrepreneurs have.

I keep thinking about that buffet (or maybe it’s more like a full-fledged banquet) — the incredible skills and knowledge in each woman business owner – and wondering, how can we better leverage those resources in and for each other?

What if, for example, every one of us made an intentional effort EACH DAY to do ONE THING to help advance another woman in her business? Such as:

  1. Make powerful introductions between potential business collaborators – powerful because you’ve sensed shared values and goals between these women, not just a similar business line.
  2. Contact (call, email, even text) a woman business owner asking “what one thing can I do for you today?” And mean it.
  3. Share information and inspiration (both are critically important) tailored specifically to the recipient. Become one of the people whose emails always get read because each email is that impactful.
  4. Ask other women business owners for specific assistance. If another woman business owner might be able to fill a specific gap in your skill set, knowledge base, or even a certain type of motivational energy, ASK her for help, or even negotiate a mutually beneficial business deal. Chances are, the collaboration will further her business every bit as much as yours. 
  5. Ask each other the tough questions. Many of us women entrepreneurs have business or life coaches who ask those questions that require digging deep internally and doing clarifying research externally. If we’ve been coached, we know how to ask those questions of each other. And if we haven’t been coached, we can still ask open honest clarifying questions of each other. Questions ignite discovery – the fuel for taking ourselves and our businesses to the next level.
  6. Be someone else’s microphone. When another woman business owner impresses you or inspires you, let other people know. I suspect we’re all pretty good at personally congratulating or thanking that person, but how often do we publicize someone else’s successes? Let’s each start doing that regularly – TODAY.

Just one more thing here – the part about not overwhelming our lives. Yes, I’m asking each of us (myself included) to add something to each day. And believe me, I know we are all busy enough that we struggle to find space in our schedules for even the priorities. But I am not asking us to add a tedious To Do to our list.

I’m suggesting instead that with a little practice, we can make showing up for each other consistently just another part of the unique and highly effective way we women do business.

Are you with me??

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Big Fish Nation is an incredible program for connecting women entrepreneurs with each other and invaluable tools. If you want to hear about my Big Fish experience, email me directly at starlaking@comcast.net.

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