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More Lessons from My West Coast Move: Building an Advisory Team

July 27, 2010

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In last week’s blog post, I talked about our move to San Diego, and the importance of asking for help during all phases of the move. 

One of my travelling team members :)

We had friends supporting us with meals and encouragement before the trip, packers and loaders and movers working during the trip while my husband, daughter, fish, dog, and I were a travelling team across country, then in San Diego more support from our new nanny, all the businesses providing what we can purchase in order to help create our lives here, and still more from our friends by phone and online.

I cannot imagine making such a huge move (or even a smaller one!) without the help of each and every person along the way.  Maybe we could have done it ourselves, but why would we even want to??

That is the question we business owners need to start asking ourselves more often.  The “I can do this myself!” attitude that helped us become successful business owners can also be what gets us stuck in doing too much ourselves and stressing ourselves out so much that we lose our effectiveness. 

I love this quote by Napoleon Hill, from his book Think and Grow Rich:

“Ally yourself with a group of as many people as you many need for the creation, and carrying out of your plan, or plans… Compliance with this instruction is absolutely essential.  Do not neglect it.”

We entrepreneurs MUST have help!  Not just with carrying out plans we’ve already created, but also in creating and expanding our plans, and helping keep us on track (or go off the original track if necessary).

Consider creating an Advisory Board or Board of Directors … or if that feels too formal, call it a Dream Team.  These are the people who believe in your overall vision and believe in YOU, but not necessarily people who all think alike and agree on everything. 

Although very important, creating an Advisory Board does not need to be a stressful process.  Remember when you were in grade school and had to choose teams for kickball?  What did you do then?  You didn’t say, “No, I don’t want any other players,” you went ahead and started picking the best people available to give you a better chance of success.  

So start choosing your Advisory Board / Board of Directors / Dream Team members today.  You simply need four things:

  1. Business Current State:  Where is your business now in terms of accomplishing your goals, making your vision a reality?
  2. Business Future State: Where do you want your business to be in the near future?
  3. List of Needs: What talents and skills are needed in order to get your business to the desired future state?
  4. List of People: Who do you know (or need to know!) in order to provide those talents and skills?

Then the next, most important step is:  ASK!  Ask them to be a part of your advisory team.  You will be surprised at the abundance in number of YES’s especially if you tell them up front what the role is that you want them to play for you because most of the time it is not very time intensive.

I’m currently putting together an advisory board for Lorin Beller Blake & Company, and would love to hear your real-life experiences:

Do you already have an advisory team in place?  How it is working for you?

Are you in the process of creating an advisory team and know your needs but don’t have the people?  Let us know what you need! One of our readers might be a great contact for you.

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Remember, if you need a network of strong, innovative and successful women to meet and learn with regularly, consider joining one of Big Fish Nation’s programs.

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Moving: the 3rd biggest stressful thing in life to do!

July 20, 2010

Filed under: Adventure — Tags: , , , — Lorin Beller Blake @ 12:14 am

Well, we made it from Austin, TX to San Diego by car while our moving truck had our ‘stuff’ — I was realizing how little ‘stuff’ we really need in life. If that truck never showed up, it would have been fine. And I am glad it did!

As our dog, who has glaucoma, was losing her site as we traveled due to stress and lousy timing, I realized how unattached she was to her vision (or lack of). As long as she was with us, she was happiest.

I realized how amazingly easy my 4.5 year old daughter travels as long as she has the right ‘tools’ such as crafty things, workbooks, music, rich and silly conversation.

As we pulled up to our rental house in Solana Beach, which we rented via craigslist without seeing it, I realized that you can really make any house a home, and we did luck out! Because I knew the basic criteria of what we wanted, it was important to ask for those things upfront, I guess this is true with anything in life: a partner, a job, a work relationship, etc. We have to know what we want in order to ask for it so that we ultimately receive it.

As I sit here in my office a week after the moving truck arrived, after just getting off the phone with a dear friend, I realize that it does not matter where you live; friends and family are with you no matter how far away they are.

As I hear the new nanny, which I hired via the phone a month or so ago, working down stairs I am grateful for her ‘take charge’ initiative. If I was doing in person interviews it may have turned out differently, however, I know now to trust my intuition to listen with my whole being. She is the perfect person for our family at this time.

So a move across country is not always easy, packing, unpacking, driving, hotels, fast food, new neighborhood, new network of resources to learn about, new schools, new friends, new neighbors, new views, new roads, new ways. It is the top 3rd stressful thing we do in life, move! However, I realize after looking back at the past month, that I let it go, allowed ease and also asked for help and got help lined up right away.

Thanks for following our trek on facebook and if you have not joined us there please do! (Lorin Beller Blake and Big Fish Nation) There will be more journeys to document, learn from and enjoy.

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Fire Walk anyone?

May 5, 2010

Filed under: #BigFishIntention, Adventure, Thought Leader — Tags: , , , , — Lorin Beller Blake @ 12:46 pm

FireWalk Any One?

Every now and then I sign up for something to rejuvenate me…. This time I signed up for a 2.5 day women business owners retreat with Tory Johnson’s Spark & Hustle program www.womenforhire.com . I knew very little about the people putting it on and the event itself. I just followed my intuition and signed up.

Upon arriving, I learned the first morning that that first night, we’d be doing a ‘fire walk’. At first, I was annoyed! I did not sign up for this! I never had ‘walking on fire’ on my bucket list! The truth, I did not want to do it, I was scared to put my tender, feeling feet into hot coals, it simply sounded stupid!

I remembered 7 or so years ago when I wanted to strap a hang-glider to my back and jump off a cliff in California. Stupid? Maybe, but I wanted to do it! I wanted to feel what it felt like to be a bird in the silent air 100’s of feet above the noise on the ground.

As I reflected on that experience, at the retreat, I was trying to find parallels… what intrigued me was the difference between doing something I wanted to do and something I did not want to do. I began to see how I felt about doing things I want to do and did not want to do…. And realized there is going to be a big opportunity for learning here should I choose to take it on. I was not yet convinced I would.

So at the end of the day, as the sun was going down, 22 of us gathered in 3 small busses and headed north to www.firewalking.com where a man named Charles Horton greeted us, he was our fearless leader. His story was so motivating and moving in and of itself.

He said a few very wise and simple things:

1. In order to do this fire walk, we must get ‘in state’ and realized what he was referring to was to get in ‘best self’ state like we talk about in the www.bigfishnation.com. He went on to say that his goal is to stay in this positive state for 95 percent of each day. I realized that he just raised my bar. Could I be in best self 95% of each day? Could you?

2. He went on to say that we had choice if we wanted to walk. We were not to pressure each other or encourage. Just focus on ourselves and allow each person to make their own choice. And accept what each person’s choice was. Again, a great point, I had to ask myself how often I judge those closest to me for their choices.

3. He continued, no matter our decision don’t make it easy, rather ‘Let it be Easy’ — ah this bit of advice I heard loudly. And I realized what a huge difference it was to make it easy rather than let it be easy. Allow. Allow. Allowing is so much easier than making! AH, it was starting to sound doable…. Walking on fire.

4. Another thing he said: put your attention on something OTHER than your feet and fire! ‘Energy flows where attention goes.’ I said to myself, this is the first principle in the book I wrote!? I have to walk my talk and do it… and I have to admit that I felt this was the ultimate test of me really being able to do so!

5. There was another sign in his ‘space’ that said: ‘Highly successful people routinely step out of their comfort zone to accomplish what they want.’ The truth, I had to admit that I had not been out of my comfort zone in while. And as time went on, I was realizing I was about to. UGH!

So it was time to start the process. He first had us break boards! Yes, break boards. At first I was thinking, ‘this is stupid!’ First of all, I use my hands a lot, I do not want to hurt them! So, 23 women started breaking boards. Everyone broke their board, but me! My board DID NOT BREAK! Or shall I say, I DID NOT BREAK MY BOARD THE FIRST TIME! Charles being the kind man that he is, allowed me to try a second time (after announcing that this is a onetime deal)… I barely broke the board, but I did. There were still wood fibers attaching the two sides… oh no, I started to have doubts about the fire thing. I remember saying to myself, ‘If I cannot break the board easily, how can I walk on fire?!?!’ I could have started freaking out. But I did a few deep breaths and did not put my energy there… I looked forward. Put my energy on the next thing. We threw our boards with our limiting beliefs written on them in fire, burned those shallow, disempowering thoughts in the fire.

It was time… the coals were hot. I could feel the heat from the fire. I really could easily have gone down the ‘You’ve got to be freakin’ kidding me…. ‘ path. But I didn’t. I stayed with the notion of ‘I feel great today. I feel terrific. I feel healthy. I feel happy. I am powerful. YES! YES! YES!’ I put my attention on the moment not the coals or heat.

The first woman walked! She did it. The second woman walked. She did it! In that moment, I knew that if I thought at all about what I was about to do, I would not do it. I was the 3rd woman to walk. The first step was warm. The second like warm rocks that sun was beating on. I did not feel the other steps and before I knew it, I was back on cool, moist grass. No pain. Nothing! Just pure elation! I DID IT! I REALLY JUST WALKED ON HOT COALS!

So the bottom-line, when we decide that we are going to do something we do not want to do (sales, speaking, a conversation, walking on fire) there are some basics:
1. Know what you have to do and DO IT! Don’t think too much about it.
2. As successful people, we should be doing this consistently!
3. When doing such things, remember where your energy is, it matters!
4. Let it be easy… .allow it to be easy.
5. Remember you always have choice! Even if we do not want to do it… and know we need to do it to go to the next level… Choice is powerful.
6. Get ‘in state’ and stay ‘in stay in state’… and simply this is Best Self in the big fish program.

I have written in this blog about this experience and the truth is, it is just the beginning of the learning from this experience and should you want the full ‘story’ about my fire walk journey email me: lorin@bigfishnation.com and I’ll share my full story with you.

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